What To Do When A Child Doesn’t Want To See The Other Parent

If you’re searching for answers to the question, “What to do when a child doesn’t want to see the other parent,” chances are you’re facing a situation filled with worry, confusion, and even heartbreak. ❤️‍🩹

As a relationship expert and coach, I’ve worked with countless parents who find themselves in this challenging position. It’s not just about managing schedules or following custody agreements. this challenge strikes at the heart of your child’s emotional well-being and your family’s balance.

When a child resists contact with the other parent, it’s rarely a simple case of not wanting to spend time together. Instead, it’s often a reflection of underlying emotions, environmental shifts, or even unresolved conflict.

The key is learning how to respond with patience, compassion, and clarity, while keeping your child’s best interests at the forefront.

What To Do When A Child Doesn’t Want To See The Other Parent - Video Overview

In this blog post I’ll walk you through practical steps to take when your child doesn’t want to see the other parent, offering strategies that validate your child’s feelings, preserve their relationship with both parents where possible, and reduce conflict in the family dynamic. Understanding Why a Child Refuses Contact

Before deciding what to do when a child doesn’t want to see the other parent, it’s essential to look beneath the surface. Resistance often stems from deeper issues, and identifying them can help you respond effectively. Some common reasons include:

• Changes in routine or environment – Kids thrive on predictability. Moving to a new house, adjusting to a new school, or sudden shifts in a parent’s behaviour can create anxiety about visits.

• Parental conflict or tension – Children absorb the emotional climate around them. If arguments or hostility exist between parents, children may avoid visits to escape the stress.

• Negative experiences or memories – Past experiences, such as feeling neglected or exposed to conflict, can make a child hesitant to reconnect with others.

• Manipulation or coaching – In some cases, a child’s reluctance may be influenced by one parent’s words or behaviour, consciously or unconsciously.

• Emotional struggles – A child may not yet have the vocabulary to explain feelings like sadness, anger, or fear. Instead, refusal to see the other parent becomes their way of expressing distress.

Understanding these potential factors is the first step in addressing the situation compassionately.

Step 1: Listen to Your Child’s Concerns

When determining how to handle a child’s reluctance to see the other parent, the most crucial step is listening. Children need to feel that their emotions are valued and matter.

Instead of dismissing their feelings or forcing them into compliance, create a safe space for open dialogue.

Ask gentle, non-judgmental questions such as:

• “Can you tell me what makes you uncomfortable?”

• “What would help you feel safer or happier when spending time with your other parent?”

• “What worries you the most about going?”

  
  

Avoid putting words in their mouth or making them feel guilty. The goal is not to fix the problem immediately but to validate that their perspective counts. This builds trust and encourages them to share more over time.

Step 2: Offer Compassion and Reassurance

Children experiencing inner conflict need more than solutions, they need reassurance. Once you’ve listened, show empathy by acknowledging their feelings without judgment.

For example, say:

• “It’s okay to feel nervous about visits. Lots of kids feel this way sometimes.”

• “I hear you, and I’m here to support you while we work through this together.”
  

Compassion helps children feel safe to express themselves honestly. Remember, the way you respond can influence whether your child learns to process emotions openly or suppresses them out of fear of upsetting you.

Step 3: Communicate With the Other Parent (If Safe and Appropriate)

The next step in addressing what to do when a child doesn’t want to see the other parent is honest communication between parents. If your relationship with your co-parent allows for civil discussion, approach them with the shared goal of supporting your child.

• Stay neutral: Avoid blame or accusations. Instead of saying, “You’re making them anxious,” try, “I’ve noticed they seem worried about visits, and I’d like us to find a solution together.”

• Focus on the child’s needs: Frame the conversation around what will help the child feel secure, rather than past conflicts.

• Brainstorm solutions: This may include shorter visits, meeting in neutral spaces, or temporarily adjusting the schedule.
  

If direct communication is not possible due to safety concerns or conflict, consider mediation or the involvement of a neutral third party, such as a family therapist.

Step 4: Encourage Gradual Exposure

Sometimes, the idea of a full-day or overnight visit can feel overwhelming for a child. In this case, gradual exposure can reduce anxiety.

• Shorter visits first: Start with a brief outing, such as lunch or a playdate at the park.

• Neutral ground: Meeting in public or familiar safe spaces can reduce tension.

• Supportive supervision: In some cases, a trusted third party or supervised visitation centre may help rebuild trust and security.
  

Gradual steps allow your child to reestablish comfort without feeling forced.

Step 5: Prioritise Your Child’s Well-Being Over Your Emotions

It’s natural to feel hurt, frustrated, or even angry when your child resists seeing their other parent. But this is the moment to separate your emotions from your child’s needs.

Avoid statements such as:

• “Why can’t you just go? It’s your mom/dad.”

• “You’re making things difficult.”
  

These comments can lead to feelings of guilt and confusion, exacerbating the situation. Instead, focus on creating an environment where your child feels safe, respected, and supported. Remember: your role is not to pressure but to guide.

Step 6: Keep Communication Open Over Time

Children’s emotions are not static. What feels unbearable one month may soften with time and support. To address what to do when a child doesn’t want to see the other parent long-term, commit to ongoing communication.

• Regularly check in about their feelings.

• Reassure them that they can always come to you for support.

• Be flexible and willing to adapt the plan as needed.
  

Sometimes, ongoing resistance signals deeper issues that require professional help. Don’t hesitate to involve a child therapist who can provide tools for both parents and children to navigate these challenges.

Final Thoughts

Facing the reality of what to do when a child doesn’t want to see the other parent is one of the most emotionally challenging experiences for parents. But by listening with compassion, communicating thoughtfully, and prioritising your child’s well-being above all else, you can create a pathway forward.

Remember, your child’s feelings are valid even when they’re hard to hear. By treating them with patience, empathy, and understanding, you’re not only supporting their emotional health in the present but also teaching them lifelong skills for processing difficult emotions and relationships.

Parenting in these moments is never about perfection, it’s about presence. And by showing up with love, resilience, and an open heart, you’re already doing an incredible job. ❤️‍🩹

👉 If you found this article helpful and want more guidance on co-parenting, family communication, and navigating complex family dynamics, explore my YouTube Channel here for more resources. Alternatively - reach out to me directly here for a free discovery call. You will have the flexibililty to speak with me privately at a date and time to suit you. 🙏❤️